Your relationship with your partner or husband may have been rock solid before your little bundle arrived, but you may notice that things have changed. Relationships after babies is a whole other phase that you will need to work through together as a team. Life before babies was probably pretty easy for both of you. The long lunch dates, watching concerts at night and strolling out for breakfast after a night out. Then bam things change in an instant as soon as baby is born. No longer can you just walk out the house with not a care in the world, now you have to take everything plus the kitchen sink. You probably don’t spend as much quality time with your partner as you are so focused on what the baby needs. Life is very intense for the first year, whether it is your first baby or not. The hormones, sleepless nights, decreased libido and feeling out of shape all can make women feel very different. The change for women is huge, so naturally we feel different. However, for men nothing changes physically, they still have the same needs. They were around way before baby and still want to feel important to you, like there your number one. There are many ways to get your relationship back on track:
A good old fashioned date night away from home will make you feel more like the old you. Get dressed up, put some makeup on and make an effort, your partner will notice and appreciate your efforts.
Touch Now this one is important for both of you, we all need it to feel close to our partner. Even if your not up for sex yet, just snuggling on the couch or grabbing a hug as you walk past each other will make your partner feel like their your number one.
Have you tried communicating to your partner how you are feeling? You will probably notice that they are feeling it too but are too scared to say anything. It’s a known fact that men like to fix problems, whereas women like to talk and work through things. We don’t need fixing but we just need to talk about it. So talk, get things off your chest and be open with each other.
Now I’m not talking about buying sexy underwear (even though that wouldn’t go amiss), instead try leaving a good old fashioned love note for them to find. Run a bath, with candles and a bottle of wine, give each other a massage and just enjoy being together.
Before babies, you were probably a lot more fun and enjoyed a good giggle. Life is so busy and can be stressful with babies, so bringing some fun back into the relationship will leave you both feeling like your pre baby self. Your relationship after babies will be as great as you make it, you are now a family so you need to work together. You will have phases that can be hard, but as long as you grow together, evolve and make time for each other then you are onto a winner. Everything is just a phase, just remember that.
If you need someone to care for your baby whilst you spend quality time with your partner, please get in touch. We have experienced maternity nurses available to help you.
For more informative pregnancy, birth and baby articles, read our Maternity Mum blog.